Katie Holmes

5:27 AM Aksh

First of all, for everything you need to know about Scientology (in case you're unaware or undereducated about the movement, check out Stuff You Should Know: The Church of Scientology.


Katie Holmes. Oh, Katie Holmes. You are the hottest because you are Joey from Dawson's Creek and I will never grow up. 


The adorable Katie Holmes, who was raised Roman Catholic (which, by the looks of this list, is the perfect gateway religion to Scientology), joined the Church of Scientology shortly after Tom Cruise put her in his clutches and hasn't let her out of their castle since.


Strangely, right after she got together with Cruise, she fired her long-time manager and agent and hired her new "best friend", Jessica Rodriguez, who is from a prominent family of Scientologists.


Holmes and Cruise were married in 2006 at the 15th-century Odescalchi Castle in Bracciano, Italy, in a Scientology ceremony that, much like that of Kelly Preston and John Travolta, wasn't valid "legally" (probably for the same reasons that my Jedi wedding to my wife Trolgda isn't valid). 


The couple actually validated their marriage in Los Angeles the day before the Italian ceremony, but didn't make it MySpace official (it was 2006) until after the Scientology ceremony.


Here she is looking absolutely stunning on a normal day. She just does that.


And here is Hollywood's favorite MILF sunbathing in her bikini, proving that she still does, and always will, have it.


And just check this out. It's just her in a shoulder-showing sweater and a ponytail, but Xenu damn. Xenu damn, you guys.